


have no fear

by youcarrymeaway



Category: Pitch (TV 2016), Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Age Difference, Alternate Universe - Baseball, Alternate Universe - Celebrity, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, And They Were Teammates, BAMF Rey, Banter, Catcher!Ben, F/M, Falling In Love, Interviews, Misogyny, News Media, Pining, Pitch (TV) AU, Pitcher!Rey, Secret Relationship, Sexism, Sports, Team Dynamics, Woman in Sports, it's a woman in sports so there's awful things like, rookie/captain
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-01-17
Updated: 2021-01-21
Packaged: 2021-03-16 14:54:06
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,545
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28583811
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/youcarrymeaway/pseuds/youcarrymeaway
Summary: The enormity of the moment hit her, then, as she pulled the jersey over her head and studied her complete appearance in the mirror.She was about to play in a game of major league baseball.Holy shit.(or, Rey is the first female baseball player, and Ben Solo is her very attractive teammate. What could go wrong?)
Relationships: Rey/Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Comments: 4
Kudos: 24





	1. play ball

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Quick disclaimers:
> 
> 1) I do not know anything about baseball. To those who do; I sincerely apologize for all inaccuracies. To those who don’t; do not worry. This story is set in the sports world, but it is in no way about the specifics of the sport itself.
> 
> 2) this story is going to deal with misogyny in sports a fair amount. I will try to be upfront about what’s happening, and nothing too upsetting will occur, but it’s a very real theme of the story, and if you have any issues please feel free to reach out to me.
> 
> 3) this work is inspired by a television show, and while many elements are taken from the show, the story itself will largely be my own.
> 
> 4) I reference lots of Star Wars places for this fic, but I mostly get my knowledge from Wookiepedia. If something is glaringly wrong, feel free to (gently) let me know.
> 
> I hope you enjoy this nonsense!

**chapter one: play ball**

The world was erupting around her, and the only thing she was capable of doing was clenching her fists, setting her jaw, and taking quick steps to continue to press forward. 

She’d always prided herself on her survival instincts, but today they were being tested to their limits.

Around her, crowds of people shouted and screamed at a deafening volume; she couldn’t process a word. It simply slammed into her like a wall of noise that made each step she took feel weighed down by a thousand pounds of surging water. 

Rey Johnson was flanked on both sides by her manager, Amilyn Holdo, and her publicist, Kaydel Connix. Their presence did little to comfort her in the sea of chaos. They did at least provide a buffer between her and the swarm.

The three of them were approaching the massive structure of Hanna City’s cornerstone; the veritable heart of the city.

The entrance to Barbican Park; the city’s baseball stadium.

And the crowds were gathered around to see  _ her _ .

It took everything within Rey to keep her eyes steadily forward rather than scanning the crowd around her. But she knew that if she looked, even for a second, she very well might be swept away entirely.

The trio finally reached the doors to the stadium, and Amilyn ushered her and Kaydel inside. Once the doors had shut firmly behind them, Rey took a shuddering breath of air. It felt like the first taste of it she’d ever had.

“That was  _ insane _ .” Kaydel was similarly breathless, her eyes guilelessly wide.

Holdo smiled faintly. “That,” she said, “was only the beginning.” 

Rey gripped the handle of her bag hard enough to bruise her fingers, and wordlessly followed the other women deeper into the building. 

——

It wasn’t like she hadn’t been prepared for a seismic reaction to her… Well.  _ Position _ . She was about to be the first woman to ever play on a team in a major league sport. Clearly, this was no small feat. However, the sheer magnitude of people - both those who were fans, overcome with excitement for her before even seeing her play - and those that decidedly  _ weren’t _ , who were furious that a woman had dared to encroach upon their sacred territory - was truly staggering. 

But thinking too hard about any of that might make her want to collapse on the floor, so. She forced herself not to.

Rey could only focus on keeping her breathing steady as she tread through the vast halls of Hanna City’s grandest sports stadium. The space was cavernous and silent; since entering the building the crowd’s shouts had been shut out, leaving only the sounds of the group’s echoing footsteps.

They made their way down winding staircases and through secret tunnels. The entire time Rey wondered somewhat wildly how anyone could remember how to get around. The last stadium she’d played in had been Jakku’s minor league one, and that place barely had enough space for the two teams to change separately.

Much less… all this.

They approached the office of the head manager, located on the building’s top floor. Windows lined the hallway leading up to it, with perfectly picturesque views of the ballpark down below. 

Amilyn rapped on the door, and announced, “It’s Rey Johnson’s team. We’ve arrived.”

“Come in,” the voice from inside intoned.

Holdo pushed the door open, and gestured for Rey to enter.

Lifting her chin, Rey stepped into the office. She could hear the other two women follow behind her, and Kaydel quietly shut the door.

The head manager of the Hanna City Hornets, Alistar Snoke, swiveled around to face them in his leather chair. He was leaning back lazily against the backrest, and he smiled very slowly up at her.

Snoke was an older, balding man who had been in charge of the team for almost a decade now, managing the team that belonged proudly to Senator Palpatine himself.

“Welcome, Rey Johnson and team. We’re so glad to have you here.”

His expression could only be described as oily.

Rey felt instant revulsion in her stomach..

“It’s a pleasure to be here,” Holdo said smoothly, flashing a charming smile. “My girl here can’t wait to get out there and play.”

“Yes, and we can’t wait to see her do so.”

Rey remained silent throughout the exchange. She didn’t have the patience nor the temperament to deal with politicking the way that Holdo could. She would have never gotten this far without her manager’s smooth ability to talk her up to people like Snoke.

“Shall we show you to where you can get changed, then?” Snoke asked.

Rey nodded. “That would be great, sir.”

Snoke stood, and as he lead them out of his office he said, conversationally, “As you may know, we only had a short amount of time to prepare for Ms. Johnson’s arrival. As you also understand, we wanted to make sure she had a place to get changed. One that wasn’t occupied, if you catch my meaning.”

Amilyn nodded briskly. “Yes, that was something we strongly requested.”

“Yes, well, we did what we could to find a space for Ms. Johnson.”

They stopped a few feet away from the locker room, in front of another door.

Snoke opened it with a flourish. “For our newest player.”

Rey glanced inside the room, and blinked.

It was a closet.

Holdo’s pleasant smile vanished, and she turned to give Snoke a frosty look.

“It’s all we had,” he said in explanation. “You understand. This is a new situation, and we’re not quite equipped to handle it just yet.”

“Yes,” Holdo said coolly. “We completely understand this  _ temporary  _ solution.”

Her emphasis could not have been clearer.

Snoke chuckled, an ugly sound. “We will work on a more permenant solution… in the event that Ms. Johnson fits in with our team during today’s game.”

His meaning could not be more clear. Screw up, and she was gone.

Rey refused to look away from his cold expression. “I look forward to it.”

With a few comments about meetings he had to see to, Snoke exited, and left the three women staring at the closet’s entrance.

“Well,” Kaydel said awkwardly. “This kinda sucks.”

Rey shrugged. “It’s fine. Gets the job done.” She stepped inside the door.

Holdo shook her head. “Rey. We are not going to just accept whatever they hand us. We’re here to fight for what you deserve. And what you  _ deserve _ is to not be shoved in a god damn  _ closet  _ and treated like a dirty secret.”

Rey couldn’t help but smile faintly at her manager. “Amilyn, thank you for looking out for me. But it’s fine, really. It’s not forever. We’ll figure it out.” She set her bag down. “In the meantime, I have a game to play.”

Holdo seemed to center herself, then nodded briskly. “Right. Of course. We’ll leave you to get changed.”

The two women walked out, and Rey shut the door after them. She exhaled in the silence that followed, blinking rapidly.

Right. Time to get changed for her first major league game. Perfect.

She stripped off her leggings and tank top, and pulled on the team issued pants, followed by her undershirt.

Her breath hitched as she slowly held up the final piece of her uniform in front of her; her jersey.

It was a solid, burnt orange color with black lettering that had white edges. Rey smoothed it out as her heart pounded in excitement.

Her number stood proudly right under her embroidered name: 77.

When Holdo had brought up the conversation of what number she would want to represent her, Rey had decided on 77; the age that Maz had been when she had died, two years ago.

She wanted to honor the closest thing she’d ever had to a mother.

The enormity of the moment hit her, then, as she pulled the jersey over her head and studied her complete appearance in the mirror that had been propped up in the corner for her.

She was about to play in a game of major league baseball.

Holy shit.

She pulled her cap back onto her head, slipping her short ponytail through the space in the back, before slinging her bag back over her shoulder

It was time to face her new team in the locker room.

——

Rey had been called up to play with Hanna City’s major league team at the last minute; just two days before the game had been scheduled to occur. It was for that reason that no one was quite prepared for her arrival.

So while she wasn’t changing with the rest of the team, she still had to meet them, and get to know them. The locker room was also where meetings and strategy were conducted, so she needed to be present for that as well.

She’d been in countless men’s locker rooms before. It certainly didn’t faze her.

The smell of sweat that permeated the air was generally the most unappealing part.

That, and the general misogyny of most baseball players.

She almost felt a wave of relief as she was ushered into the locker room, the sounds and sights and even the terrible smell all quite familiar to her. Down here, she could almost forget that she didn’t belong.

Almost.

She had promised herself that she wouldn’t be starstruck over meeting any of these professional players. They may have been people she admired, but they were on equal footing now. She had to keep her composure.

Still, she couldn’t stop herself from scanning the bustling environment furtively in an attempt to spot all the players. She recognized most of them; the younger players from playing in the minors with her fairly recently, and the older ones from notoriety in the sport.

She didn’t see Ben Solo anywhere.

Rey really hated to admit it, but even in such a familiar environment she felt wildly out of place.

When she heard Finn’s voice, however, she felt a rush of relief course through her. 

“Hey, peanut, you’re here.” Her longtime friend swept her into a bear hug, and she folded into it gratefully, a grin splitting across her face.

She and Finn had practically grown up together. He’d joined the major leagues about a year ago, and had been one of the biggest reasons she hadn’t given up the dream entirely.

She was so grateful to have at least one person here in her corner.

“Hey, Finn,” she mumbled into his shirt.

“It’s been too long.”

“Yeah, like two months.”

He released her from the embrace. “Still. That’s too long. Rose has been yelling at me to invite you over.”

“I’ve been too busy, even if you had.”

“That’s what I told her.”

“Looks like our boy Finn knows our newest addition,” a man on a bench nearby commented, his eyebrows waggling.

Finn shot the man a glare. “Oh pipe down, Poe.”

The dark haired man, who Rey realized must be Poe Dameron, star shortstop, only laughed in response. Rey chose to ignore him.

“Speaking of, how is Rose?” she asked Finn instead.

His smile grew softer. “She’s doing really great. Her clothing company was featured in Esquire last week.

Rey beamed. “That’s incredible. Good for her.”

She noticed then that Poe was the only one who was paying attention to their conversation. It felt like the whole room was watching her, judging her every moment.

“You ready for all of this?” Finn asked quietly.

Truthfully, Rey was getting more and more unsure as to whether or not this had been the right choice as the game got closer and closer. Her nerves had been spiking ever since they entered the building, and she couldn’t deny the fear that prickled under her skin.

The entire country would be watching her. The entire  _ world. _

Everyone was just waiting for her to fuck it up.

But she didn’t say any of this.

Because this was her big shot. Her dreams coming true.

So she put on a strained smile and replied, “Ready as I’ll ever be, I guess.”

Finn gave her a hearty thump on the back. “Well, I believe in you. You’re gonna kill it.”

He showed her where her cubby was, where she could leave her belongings during the game, before heading off to his to finish getting ready for the game. Rey set down her bag inside, then pulled out her soft, worn pitching glove and smoothed her thumb across the length of it.

“Quiet, guys.”

Coach Ackbar stood in the center of the room, and his words instantly silenced the rowdy team.

“We’re gonna have a good game today, all right?” Murmurs of agreement followed. “There’s a big crowd out there today, so we better not let them down.” He glanced over at Rey, their gazes meeting. “Just make sure the extra…  _ commotion _ doesn’t distract you from playing the best you can.”

Rey could feel herself flushing, but didn't look away from her coach. He finally gave a nod of approval and turned away.

She breathed a sigh of relief. He might not be thrilled that she was here, but at least he was being civil.

Probably the best she could have hoped for.

With the rest of the team preoccupied with their various pre-game rituals, Rey turned away and resolutely headed outside to begin warming up.

Emerging into the bright May sun, Rey took a deep, cleansing breath of fresh air. Even out here, however, there were still eyes trained on her.

She supposed she should really be getting used to that.

Rey ran through a few warm-up exercises with her arms and shoulders, before slipping her glove on and throwing a few practice balls. As she eased into the motion, she began to throw them tighter and faster.

She paused after a few rounds to catch her breath. That’s when she heard a burst of noise from behind her, and she glanced back absently to see what the commotion was. Her heart rapidly accelerated when she spotted who was at the center of the small crowd by the fence.

Ben Solo stood, arms crossed, talking to a few teammates. His hat was pulled low over his eyes, and she could barely make out from this distance the deep cadence of his voice. His shoulders were wide and solid, and his biceps bulged across his firm chest.

She had never seen him in person, and had to admit that she had never realized what an undeniably  _ big _ man he was.

During her teenage years, when she had been getting into baseball, he had been one of her favorite players. She wouldn’t say she idolized him, necessarily; but she certainly could recognize what an incredible catcher he was, and could dream of one day being just as good.

He was probably one of her favorite players, and she looked up to him immensely.

She had to ensure that he didn’t know any of that, though. Because now, they were teammates.

Squaring her shoulders, she began to make her way over to him. The sun was hot in the sky, and Rey absently wiped some sweat away from her neck.

His conversation mates left him then, and Rey silently thanked them for their perfect timing.

When she was about a yard away, he finally seemed to notice her approaching. His head tilted slightly, and she could now make out his brown eyes shaded by the rim of his hat. He was scanning her, an unreadable look in his eyes as he straightened to his full height.

“The one and only Rey Johnson, is it?”

Rey willed her cheeks to not turn pink. “That’s me. You must be the one and only Ben Solo.”

The corner of his mouth curved slightly. “That would be me.”

Rey stopped right in front of him, and realized distantly that she had to crane her head a bit to meet his gaze. It felt appropriate somehow, like how she’d been looking up to him for years.

“Been a lot of chatter about you around here,” he said. “Strange not to be the center of conversation, for once.”

“Must rub you the wrong way, having a rookie be more talked about than the star player.”

“Actually, it’s kind of nice not to be talked about for a change.” His eyebrows raised. “Unless the chatter gets in the way of playing the game, that is.”

Rey refused to submit and let her gaze stray from his, even as a part of her begged to end the intense eye contact. “I’m just here to play, like anyone else would be. The noise is just that.”

He hummed low in his throat in acknowledgement. “Good to know. I’ll see you on the field then, rookie.”

Something unexplainable flared to life in her lower belly, and Rey blinked rapidly to center herself. But before she could examine the sensation too thoroughly, Ben Solo was walking past her, and - 

_ Smack. _

Rey’s jaw dropped, fury coursing through her as his hand connected with the top of her ass. She whirled around to face him.  _ Fuck  _ if she was going to tolerate this sort of behavior.

“Hey,” she snapped. “You think that’s funny?”

His hulking figure stopped and turned to face her slightly, seemingly unaffected by her wrath.

“Well, I’ve got news for you.” She was  _ seething _ . “It’s not. You think all your buddies will get a laugh out of that? Guess what, asshole, I am a  _ ballplayer _ , not an object for your amusement, and I damn well better be treated like one. I will  _ not  _ put up with any of your sexist bullshit, do you understand?”

At this point, she was breathing harshly, eyes still glaring daggers at the absolute  _ jerkoff _ that was Ben Solo. Some idol he turned out to be.

But before she could express her rage any further, Ben Solo shook his head, a smirk curling his lips as he rubbed his hand across his mouth.

“Listen,” he began, “I didn’t mean it like that. It’s just… a thing we do around here. Like fist bumps. Nothing bonds a team quite like slapping each other’s asses all the time.”

Rey felt most of her anger drain out of her, and she deflated somewhat.

“Oh,” she said dumbly.

Solo, for the most part, still seemed amused. “I could see how you misinterpreted, but it really was just a gesture of good faith.”

“You still shouldn’t touch people without their permission,” she grumbled sourly, her glare much less heated.

He paused. Then, to her complete shock, he replied, “Yeah, maybe not. I’ll make sure to ask the next rookie beforehand.”

“I’m sure they would appreciate the warning, Captain.”

Rey watched as he chuckled lightly, a dimple appearing in his cheek. She certainly had never known he had any of those.

“Fair enough.” He dipped his head slightly in acknowledgement before he turned away and resumed his path away from her and inside the building. 

She let out a whoosh of air; his presence had a way of sucking up most of the nearby oxygen, and now that he was gone she could finally breathe normally.  _ So that’s Ben Solo. _

Her catcher. The teammate she needed to work the closest with.

She wasn’t sure she wanted to begin to unpack any of their conversation, so she chose to resume her warm-up and focus on the game ahead.

——

Rey remembered the first time she threw a baseball.

She was seven years old, and she was living in a foster home with a man named Unkar Plutt as her guardian. He was a neglectful man, and most of the time acted as though she didn’t exist. 

His worn down shack sat near a baseball field, where kids from the park district would come and play after school. When it was empty, Rey would often just wander around it, kicking up dirt and playing with things she found on the ground.

One day, she had seen a young, dark-skinned boy practicing some throws with an older woman by his side. It was Finn, and his guardian, Maz Kanata.

She and Finn had become fast friends, and Rey had asked if she could practice with him.

She and Finn had practiced everyday after school, for weeks. Rey had been grateful to have something to occupy her time, so she didn’t have to be with the awful Unkar. But over time, she began to fall in love with the sport itself.

The swing of her arm. The satisfaction of a solid throw. The pleasant burn of her muscles after they had finished.

The day Maz was set to take Finn to tryouts for the local Little League team, she had thrown a commanding look at Rey and asked simply, “Aren’t you coming?”

“For what?”

“To tryout. For the team.”

Rey had been flabbergasted. “It’s a boy’s team.”

“So what? You’re just as good as Finn is.”

Rey had considered this for a moment, before she had made a snap decision. “Okay.”

That was the day her life changed, forever.

Now, as she stepped onto the mound as her first major league game was about to begin, she once again felt as though she’d never thrown a ball in her life.

She’d been to a thousand stadiums, both as a member of the stands and as a player, and yet she had never seen the park from this angle before.

It stole her breath entirely.

_ I did it. _

Rey only allowed herself a few seconds to marvel in awe at the view; the crowd, the lights, the jumbotrons. The noise, the scent of the grass fresh in her lungs, the field sprawling around her.

A moment of magic.

Then, she turned her gaze back to home plate, and focused her gaze there. Her hand flexed inside her glove.

She was ready.

She watched as Ben Solo took his place behind the plate; even if she couldn’t see his face too clearly from this distance, the man was unmistakable in his large build and commanding presence.

The first batter was walking up to the plate, and Rey squinted her eyes a bit to see the Cloud City player better. He was swinging the bat slightly in preparation, and she immediately clocked him as right-handed.

The umpire called “Play!” and the crowd quieted.

The game had begun.

She watched Ben Solo, who gave her the univrsal signal for “fastball.”

Not her favorite. But if he was asking for it...

Rey wound up her arm, and released the ball with all the power she possessed.

It was quite a poor throw.

It clearly landed in the ball zone, and the batter didn’t even bother with an attempt at swinging at it.

Rey gritted her teeth. A bead of sweat appeared on her forehead.

_ You’re just nervous. It’s fine. You can do this. _

Ben called for the fastball again, and this time the ball landed closer to the strike zone.

But it was still not enough for the batter to swing.

Rey shut her eyes tight and attempted to get her breathing under control. She needed to maintain calm, or else she was going to have a full-blown panic attack in front of the entire world.

She could hear the crowd’s unease mounting, as they wondered if the woman on the mound was going to crash and burn.

Rey took a moment to remember the hours, the months, the  _ years _ she had worked on perfecting her throw; on making herself something strong and powerful that could handle any situwtion. All so she could get to this point.

She was ready for this. All she needed to do was fucking  _ focus. _

Exhaling, she opened her eyes, and the first thing they happened to land on was Ben.

His gaze was steady and locked on entirely on her. It was almost like he could feel her turmoil across the sixty feet that separated them.

He gave her a nod. It wasn’t quite encouragement, necessarily. But it was something.

He then signaled for a screwball.

She could feel her heart slowing and her muscles beginning to relax.

She could _do_ _this._

Rey formed the correct shape of her hand on the ball, making sure her body hid her intentions from the batter.

She wund up the throw, and released it at the same time as a sharp, heaving breath.

_ Come on. _

It felt in that moment like the ball was in the air for an eternity.

But in reality, it only took a fraction of a second for the ball to sail directly into Ben’s hand and hit his glove with a satisfying  _ thud _ .

Seconds before, the batter swung his bat, and missed the ball completely.

“Strike one!”

The crowd exploded into cheers, and Rey allowed herself the tiniest of smiles.

Finally, one down. But there were many, many more to go.

Ben continued to call for pitches, and Rey continued to throw them into his glove. Every time the batter swung at air, and a strike was pronounced, Rey could not help the giddy feeling that bubbled up in her chest and threatened to overwhelm her senses.

But there were plenty of mistakes that kept her grounded and focused on her job. Once, the Cloud City star player cracked a fastball she had thrown into the outfield, and Rey’s heart had plummeted for fear that the man had just scored a home run. But she sagged in relief when Poe Dameron managed to snag the ball and tag the runner out before he could reach third.

Before she even realized it had happened, it was the eighth inning, and the score was 4-2, with Hanna City in the lead.

She noticed that Coach Ackbar was gesturing towards her, and she realized with a start that her time was up.

Armitage Hux would step in to relief pitch for the final inning, and it was time for her to leave the field.

Rey took her bow, and the feeling that grew in her chest was unlike anything she had ever experienced before.

She waved at the crowd, while a few tears welled behind her eyes.

She had done it. She had pitched in a major league baseball game.

And she would wager a guess that it wouldn’t be her last time doing so.

_ Damn. _

Sagging slightly as she exited the field, she tapped out and made her way over to the dugout. She wiped off some of the sweat that had gathered on the back of her neck with a grimace.

“Nice game, rookie,” Ackbar said with a satisfied nod, a smile tugging at the corner of his mouth. “You fought hard.”

Rey smiled back. “Thanks, Coach.”

She could see Ben looking at her as she sat down on the bench to gulp down some water. He was studying her, a strange expression on his striking face. She couldn’t quite place it; her best guess was that it was one of fascination.

She was somewhat horrified to realize that she desperately wanted to know what he thought of her.

“Good game,” she said, refusing to be cowed by him.

He looked away first.

“Thanks,” he replied, before abruptly standing up and walking back into the dugout.

Rey blinked.

_ Okay then. _

Rey watched the rest of the game play out, and hooted and hollered with the rest of the team when the clock ran out with Hanna City as the clear winners. A few of the other members of the team even slapped her back in praise, congratulating her on a good game, and Rey could not possibly stop beaming.

Before she returned to the locker room to get changed, she glanced out at the crowd one final time. To make sure she never forgot this moment.

Most of them were chanting her name.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kudos and comments give me the strength to go on. I will love you forever if you leave some.


	2. backdoor slider

**chapter 2: backdoor slider**

**(a pitch that appears to be out of the strike zone, but then breaks back over the plate)**

“Be honest, Rey; how are you feeling after yesterday’s game? No safe-for-a-journalist answers are allowed.”

Rey rolled her eyes lightly, scooping up some stew with her spoon. “Oh, you know, just peachy.”

She was sitting in Finn and Rose’s kitchen, as her two friends had invited her to dinner to celebrate her success at her first game with the Hornets.

“I’m being serious!” Rose looked exasperated. “We want you to be able to talk to us, Rey.”

Rey deflated. “I know.”

“Then, shoot.” The petite woman straightened in her seat, flapping her hand in a gesture that read to _go on_. Finn threw his wife an amused look.

“Well,” Rey began. “Once I got over the initial…” she waved her hands vaguely in front of her, “it was not so bad. But everything surrounding the game, all the media, the pressure, the team itself…” She heaved a sigh. “It’s just a lot to handle, is all.”

Rose smiled sympathetically. “I cannot begin to imagine how hard that all must be on you.”

“On the plus side,” Rey continued, “If they ask me to stay on the team, I won’t have to change in a storage closet next week.”

Rose brightened. “That’s great! That’s such bullshit that they shoved you in a closet… Where will they set you up?”

Rey flushed. “A closet inside the locker room.”

Finn rolled his eyes. “Of course.”

Rose shook her head. “We really do have to fight for every single inch, huh? God, I hate sports.”

“You married a baseball player,” Finn commented mildly.

She swatted him. “And at this moment he is _testing_ me.”

Rey smiled fondly at her adorable friends. Rose had met Finn at a charity gala a few years ago, where they had been supporting local shelters for women. The sparks were practically instant.

“How are you holding up with everything else?” Rose asked gently, returning her attention to her friend.

Rey took another mouthful of food. “What do you mean?”

Rose pressed her lips together. “With all the aforementioned news coverage, and media vultures, and everything like that.” She gestured to the TV. “You can’t turn that on without seeing your face somewhere. And I can’t even fathom what going on the internet is like.”

Rey shuddered. “Well I certainly don’t do _that._ ”

Rose was relieved. “Good. You should keep it that way.”  
  
“One of the reasons I’m grateful for Kaydel. Even if I was a bit dubious of how much I needed her at first.”

“We just want you to know that we’re proud of you.” Rose wore a soft, warm smile, and Rey felt tears prickle behind her eyes.

“Thanks, guys,” she replied.

“Maz would be proud of you, too,” Finn added, reaching across the table to squeeze her shoulder.

Rey swallowed thickly. “I really hope so.”

“I know so,” he assured her firmly.

Once Rey wiped away the remnants of her tears, the rest of the dinner proceeded with a much lighter tone. The couple teased one another about Rose’s business and Finn’s antics at second base, and Rey was able to just relax and listen.

She was so grateful to be back with her friends; the closest to home she had ever truly felt.

**——**

Rey left Finn and Rose’s place with a smile on her face and a warmth in her heart. She had missed her friends dearly while she had been stationed to play in Jakku.

But when she entered her hotel room, she felt a flood of loneliness return to her.

The Hanna City team’s management had put her up in a suite in one of the nicest hotels in the city, close to the stadium so that she wouldn’t have to travel far. 

The hotel guaranteed her a certain level of security, as well. They had assured her that no unauthorized person would be able to get in. With her status as possibly the most notorious figure in the country at present, this was now a very real concern.

Quite a contrast from how she had lived for the majority of her life, even just as recently as a month ago. If she did not fend for herself, no one else was going to.

Her suite was objectively gorgeous, with a luxuriously lush carpet, a shining tiled bathroom with a claw-foot tub, and expensive linens covering her sprawling king-sized bed. It was practically a loft apartment, with a bedroom, lounge space, and kitchenette.

But none of these things could stop Rey from feeling entirely out of place, and alone.

She changed out of her jeans and casual T-shirt and into an old hoodie and soft plaid sleep pants, before settling into bed and absently flipping on her TV to find something that would work well as background noise.

It only took four seconds to see her own face appear on screen.

“Rey Johnson’s first game was certainly an _interesting_ one, Dave,” the man on screen was saying. “Nothing particularly impressive, I would argue, but better than many had been predicting.”

His co-anchor chortled. “I completely agree. She made her point, loud and clear. Now the question is, what comes next?”

“I expect them to keep her for awhile, as you _know_ she’s done extremely well for ticket sales. But I doubt we’ll see her much long-term.”

“You’re absolutely right about that.”

Face burning, Rey abruptly changed the channel to a mindless cooking show.

In her mind, the biggest hurdle had always been that first game. Climb that mountain, and she was home-free.

Metaphorically, of course. Her job was to make sure _no one_ was home-free.

But she was now beginning to realize, with a sinking stomach, that maybe her fight would never end.

There might not be a summit for this particular mountain.

She was broken out of her dejected thoughts when her phone rang beside her.

“Hello?” she answered.

“Rey,” Holdo’s voice was clearly excited; most people would assume this tone didn’t mean much, but for Holdo, a generally unshakable woman, it was significant. “I have some good news.”

Rey’s heart leapt. “What is it?”

“They want you on the team for the rest of the season. You’ll be sticking around.”

Rey’s mouth fell open. “They do?”

“They do,” Holdo confirmed. “You play again tomorrow night for game four against Cloud City.”

An uncontrollable smile broke out onto her face. “That’s amazing.” She paused. “Did they… say why they want me to stay on?”

Holdo’s voice was steady as she replied, “Does it matter?”

Rey was about to mulishly answer _yes, yes it does, because if it’s just for ticket sales then I’m not interested_ when she stopped and thought about this moment.

She was _on the team._ Officially.

“No,” she said slowly. “I suppose it doesn’t.”

“Great. I’ll meet you at noon tomorrow at Barbican to flesh out some contract details, sound good?”

“Yes,” Rey affirmed. “I can do that.”

Rey was still smiling as she hung up.

She would be sticking around.

Damn what anyone else thought.

——

She was preparing for her second game and changing in her designated closet when she heard her teammates talking. 

“So, Solo, what do you think of the girl? Heard she’s sticking around,” a voice she didn’t recognize asked.

She froze. They clearly did not realize that she was here, or that this was her new changing spot. Otherwise, she doubted they would be having such a conversation.

Despite every instinct telling her not to, she strained her ears to hear Ben Solo’s reply to the question.

His deep timbre cut through the door easily. “I’m not sure what you mean, Hux.”

There was a burst of laughter. Rey clenched her fists.

“She’s not half bad, is what I think,” Solo said finally, once the laughter had died down.

Her heart lurched.

“You’re just saying that ‘cause you want to hook up with her, right?” The titters of laughter returned. “Don’t deny it, we all saw how you were looking at her the other day. We sure don’t blame you, captain. She’s a real looker.”

There was a beat where Solo didn’t say anything. When he eventually spoke, his tone was sharp and biting.

“Would you shut the fuck up already? She’s just a goddamn publicity stunt. Nothing else. She’lll be back at the minors before you can even _think_ about getting anywhere _near_ her.”

Her stomach plummeted _._

She had wanted to know what he thought of her. Now that she did, she wished she had never wondered at all.

If that’s what Ben Solo thought of her, then…

Then nothing. It didn’t matter.

She was here to play, whether he (or anyone else, for that matter) ilked it or not.

Then again, he was the one player she probably needed to get along with the most.

Oh well. Guess he’d have to suck it up.

She opened the closet door sharply to find Solo gone. The other men gaped at her, clearly realizing that she’d heard them talking. She shot them, and in particular the pasty redhead Hux, the sharpest and most saccharine smile she could muster. 

“If you talk about me, or any other woman, like that _ever_ again, I’ll punch you in the dick so hard that you will feel it for _years._ Got it?”

The crew glanced nervously at one another, before nodding somewhat frantically.

“As you wish,” Hux replied, a glimmer of anger clear in his bright eyes.

Rey nodded, her jaw tight. “Glad we had this chat, gentlemen.”

While Ben Solo might have been a piece of shit, he at least did his best to be civil in her company, which she supposed she appreciated.

Armitage Hux did not give her the same luxury.

He was an older pitcher that she was essentially replacing as the starting player, and the miserable bastard was clearly not taking kindly to his replacement.

“Ms. Johnson, is it?” he had said with a sneer when he had ran into her as she entered the stadium that morning.

Rey had stood straighter. “Mr. Hux. It’s good to officially meet you.”

He had appraised her coolly. “I do hope you enjoy your time here in Hanna City.” He smirked. “Seeing as it won’t last for very long.”

“Oh?” Rey had responded, refusing to give him the fight he was looking for.

Hux had ambled away from her then, a smug expression resting on his face. “I will be back in my post as starting pitcher soon enough. After all, you are just the _gimmick player._ ”

Rey had silently fumed as Hux had left her standing alone in the hallway.

Now, as she finished grabbing her glove and shoving her bag in her cubby, she vowed to not bend to any of her teammate’s taunting. Especially not Armitage Hux’s.

He was wrong. They were _all_ wrong.

She was just about to leave when she noticed with a start that Ben Solo was standing by his own cubby, leaning against the wall and watching her closely.

Clearly, in her burst of anger, she had somehow managed to miss him reentering the room.

“What?” she snapped.

His gaze was steady. “Ignore him,” he replied. “Hux has always been a prick. He hates you just as much as he hates everyone else around here.”

Before she could stop herself, she retorted, “The same way that _you’re_ a prick?”

His eyes flashed dangerously. “What did you say to me, rookie?”

Rey gritted her teeth. “Did you not hear me before? I heard what you said about me just now. About how I’m a _publicity stunt._ Next time, say it to my fucking face, won’t you?”

Solo’s entire frame had seemed to still at her revelation.

“Right,” he said flatly.

Rey growled. “So like I said to the rest of those _twits,_ keep your mouth shut, or there will be trouble.”

She stormed out without looking back to see his reaction.

——

Unfortunately, she didn’t have much time to angrily stew, because they had a game to play.

A game where she had to frequently communicate with Ben Solo.

He seemed to also realize this, because he came and stood beside her before the game was set to begin.

“I’m sorry.”

She folded her arms across her chest, looking straight ahead and not at him. “Are you.”

“Yes.”

“For what, exactly?”

“For…” he faltered.

“For insulting your newest player and calling her a _publicity stunt,_ perhaps?”

He pressed his lips together tightly. 

“I didn’t mean it. It was stupid shit. You’re…” He couldn’t seem to look at her. “You’re all right, for a rookie.”

She scoffed. “Gee, thanks.”

He shot her an impatient look. “See, this is why we have a problem. As a _rookie,_ you are supposed to be deferential to me, _your captain._ Some goddamn respect might go a long way for you.”

The fucking nerve of this guy. “I might be a rookie, but at least I’m not,” she lowered her voice, “a prick.”

He glared furiously down at her, but she was surprised to see a flicker at the corner of his lips. Was that… a smile?

No. Couldn’t be.

“Tell you what,” she said suddenly. “I’ll pretend I never heard your little… conversation, and in exchange I don’t have to be…” she wrinkled her nose, “deigning, or whatever.”

“Deferential.”

“Sure, that.”

He was silent for a moment, then relented.

”Fine.”

He begrudgingly held out his glove towards her, and she slapped it with hers.

“Let’s go play some ball,” he grunted.

“Works for me.”

The Hornets lost the game, but Rey still noted with grim satisfaction that she struck out two more players than she had her first game. 

Each time a batter left the plate in defeat, a smirk would grow across her face.

Progress.

——

Playing on a major league sports team, Rey decided, was far too much about things other than baseball itself.

Rey sat next to Kaydel at her very first press conference. She couldn’t stop nervously jiggling her leg up and down.

“I have a few things I need to go over with you before they start,” Kaydel said. Journalists were still filing into the room, so Rey nodded in agreement.

“You’ve been invited to the Met Gala, so i need to get you in touch with a stylist - “

“I’m _what_?” Rey spluttered.

“We only have two weeks so we really need to hustle,” Kaydel continued, unperturbed. “Oh, and President Mothma is interested in scheduling a meeting with you.”

Rey’s jaw dropped. “You’re kidding, aren’t you?”

Kaydel grinned at her. “I’m really not.”

“Oh my god.”

It was all so… much.

Kaydel eventually excused herself, as Coach Ackbar took the seat beside her.

”You only answer one or two questions,” Ackbar told her quietly. “Leave them wanting, but give them something,”

Rey nodded. “Okay,”

The journalists fired questions at them, and the flashes of cameras made Rey feel slightly dizzy.

Luckily for her, they seemed to be more interested in asking the coach questions than her, for the moment.

“Coach, how is your team handling their new pitcher?”

“We are glad to have some new blood in the clubhouse,” the man said curtly.

“Are you planning on trading any players this season?”

“I can’t comment on that.”

“What’s your personal opinion on your new pitcher?”

Rey watched her coach closely.

“Ms. Johnson has proven to be a positive addition, and we are glad to have her.”

“Ms. Johnson, what does it feel like to be the first woman in a major league sport?”

The room fell deathly silent, waiting with baited breath to capture her response. Her first comment to the press.

“It’s…” Rey faltered, licking her lips nervously. She could see at the back of the room that Holdo was nodding encouragingly at her.

“It’s difficult,” she said finally, her eyes focusing back on the reporter who had asked the question. “But playing baseball is the easy part. It’s everything else that’s tricky.”

A flurry of noise followed her statement, all clamoring for a follow-up with further explanation.

“No more questions. Thank you for coming,” Coach Ackbar announced.

Rey breathed a sigh of relief.

Ackbar gave her a nod. “I’ll see you on the bus tomorrow.”

Rey returned his nod with one of her own. “See you, Coach.”

——

The team was getting ready to leave for their first away game Friday morning when Rey marched towards the team bus. Commuting to other cities for games was generally a pain in the ass, but one of the perks of joining the major league was that the team had money for a nice and, more importantly, _comfortable_ bus. She was pretty sure she would be able to catch a nap on those soft seats.

Holdo, who had been walking beside her to give her some last minute updates, reached out and grasped her arm tightly.

“Are you sure you don’t want to travel separately?” she implored.

It was an argument they’d had multiple times now; Amilyn wanted her to take a separate car to Cloud City, so that she could get changed more efficiently and avoid crowds on her way there.

Rey insisted she take the team bus. Her relationship with her teammates was currently too fragile to test it by receiving special treatment.

The ones who didn’t already hate her probably would if she chose to act like she was better than them.

Rey tried not to sound annoyed as she replied, “No, it’s fine. Really. I want to be one of the guys.”

Holdo’s smile was somewhat pitying. “Of course, Rey. But it’s good to keep in mind that you _aren’t_ one of the guys.”

Rey pulled her arm free of her grip, trying not to let her anger and hurt shine through. “I got that, thanks,” she snapped.

Holdo looked mildly chastined as she backed away. “You know I want the best for you, Rey.”

Rey heaved a sigh. “I’ll see you in Cloud City.”

Rey boarded the bus, and took her seat a few rows back from the front.

She was settling her bag in front of her and pulling out her headphones when a large presence appeared beside her. She didn’t even need to look up to know who it was.

He didn’t ask permission to sit; he merely set his bulky frame down beside her without comment. Rey shot him a sharp look. He glanced over at her and raised an eyebrow.

“What?” he asked, angling his (stupidly long) legs to lay partially in the aisle.

“Nothing,” she said crisply. “Just wondering why you sat down… _here_.”

“It was the only open seat.”

Rey felt herself flush. “Right.”

It was strange being this close to him. He smelled pleasant; a woodsy cologne that wasn’t overwhelming, but just the right amount to give him a clean and fresh scent. For the first time, she noticed his ears poking out of his long dark hair. She should have guessed that they would be large, too.

“Besides,” he added, “we should really talk about the fact that you don’t trust me.”

She glanced out the window as the bus began to move, refusing to meet his gaze. “What are you talking about?”

He scoffed.

“You waved me off like seven different times yesterday.”

She continued to stare out the window. “I guess so.”

“So, that’s a _problem._ ” She could see him shaking his head, running a hand through his hair in agitation. “I’m your captain, and your catcher, and when I call for something, I expect to get it. Is that an unreasonable request to you, Ms. Johnson?”

There was a long moment of frosty silence, before Rey let out a long, slow breath.

For as much of an asshole as he was, he was correct. For the sake of the team, she needed to learn to trust him. 

During the game, at the very least.

“My fastball tops out at 87,” she admitted. “So it’s not you I don’t trust.”

“Well, you clearly don’t, because you really think that I don’t know that?” When she looked over at him, he was shaking his head and rolling his eyes. “I asked for it for a _reason,_ kid.”

Her shoulders squared. “All right.” After thinking about it, Rey continues, grudgingly, “And I’m sorry.”

He waved his hand dismissively. “Just follow my lead next time, got it?”

“I got it.” She paused, then added, “And it’s Rey. None of that ‘Ms. Johnson’ shit.”

Ben gave her a sidelong look. “All right, Rey,” he replied. “But I’m still _captain._ ”

Rey smirked. “Okay then, _Ben_.”

Ben shook his head as he muttered under his breath. The only part she could make out was “stubborn rookie.”

Somehow, the rest of the trip was spent in relatively companionable silence.

Who would have thought.

——

While it was still early days, Rey had felt like she was finally getting the hang of playing in Hanna City’s stadium. It had only been a few days, but it had already begun to feel like home.

Now she was in another stadium, and she once again felt adrift.

She had played in plenty of stadiums, sure. But at least on those teams, she had somewhat felt like she had found her footing before they went on the road.

But with the Hornets, she still felt like an outsider.

At least she and Ben Solo had called a truce.

It was a strange atmosphere, standing in the center of the Cloud City stadium; the crowd fervently _booed_ their team, and yet there was still a small crowd of young girls frantically waving at her from the sidelines.

Rey allowed herself to wave once at them all with a slight smile before turning away and refocuisng on her task.

The game proceeded as usual after that. Rey made a point to not ignore Ben’s calls, even as some of them made her stomach roll with anxiety.

She made a mental note to approach him about coming up with their own unique call system that no one else could read.

Rey’s final throw for the game was to strike out a batter, bringing the eighth inning to an end.

She smirked as she passed Hux heading out onto the field. “Don’t screw this up for us,” she said sweetly.

The redhead wore a sour expression. “As if.”

She passed Ben next, who was taking a drink of water during the momentary break. When he spotted her, the corner of his mouth lifted.

“Next time, just tell him to fuck off.”

Rey snorted. “That doesn’t sound like nearly as much fun.”

The final inning ended with the Hornets holding on to their very narrow lead. Rey whooped, and she sprang towards the rest of her teammates, who were all slapping one another and jumping up and down. Finn noticed her, and made sure to pull her into the fray with the rest of them.

It felt really good to win.

The jubilant energy made its way into the locker room, where laughter and cheers surrounded her. Rey couldn’t wipe the grin off her face as she high-fived team members who had never spoken to her before.

For the first time, she felt like maybe she could belong here.

“Great win everyone!” Finn crowed. “What do you all say we celebrate with drinks at the bar tonight?”

The cheer was practically unanimous. Rey shot Finn a thumbs-up as she moved towards her secluded corner to get changed.

——

Rey knew that going out with the team was a big step; it meant that at least some, if not all, would begin to see her as an actual functioning member of the group.

Not a publicity stunt, but here to stay.

She returned to her hotel room to take a quick shower, before getting dressed in a pair of high-waisted jeans and a cropped halter top. She threw her hair into a half-up style, before grabbing her purse and heading down to meet Finn in the lobby. They had agreed to head to the bar together, as Finn had insisted she not go alone.

Finn was standing near the hotel’s front doors. She was surprised to see that he was talking to Ben, whose arms were crossed loosely across his broad chest. Rey averted her eyes.

“Thanks for waiting for me,” she said to Finn.

He beamed. “Of course, peanut. No way in hell I’m leaving you to fend for yourself tonight.”

Rey bristled. “What does that mean?”

“I just mean that…” He lowered his voice, “it’s your first time out with the team. It’s a big deal, and I just want to make sure it goes okay.”

“What, are you saying I can’t handle being social?” Rey teased.

Finn rolled his eyes. “Oh, hush. Let me be your friend and help you, Jesus.”

They chuckled together, and Rey glanced back over at Ben. It was rare to see him without a cap of some kind on his head. She had always envied his hair, but seeing it up close made her fingers inch to find out if it was as soft as it looked.

“Are you coming with us?” she asked him.

Ben heaved a sigh. “It would be very unsportsmanlike if I didn’t. But it’s not so fun when you’re the chaperone.”

The three began to exit the hotel to look for a cab.

“Who says you have to chaperone?”

“No one. But if I don’t, then no one will. And I’m too old for that binge drinking shit anyway.”

They hailed a cab, and the three climbed inside. As the smallest one, Rey ended up in the middle between the two men. She felt a jolt as her thigh pressed tightly up against Ben’s much larger one.

 _God, you’re the worst,_ she chastised herself.

“Have you guys been to this bar before?” she asked after Finn gave the driver the address and leaned back in his seat.

“Yeah, a few times. It’s the best place for a sports team to get wasted in this city.”

“How so?” she asked.

“It’s got good security, which is necessary to avoid attracting crowds,” Ben answered, “but it’s also not so prestigious that no one else can get in. So there’s still potential for a meaningless rendezvous.”

Rey shifted so that her legs were crossed at the knee. “Ah, of course. Is that something I should be working towards tonight?”

Ben grimaced.

“It’s your life, peanut,” Finn said. “But it’s pretty early in your career. I wouldn’t recommend rocking the boat so soon with a scandal.”

Rey sighed. “Yeah, you’re right. My manager would probably kill me if I even thought about it.”

Finn patted her knee. “Don’t worry. We’ll get you plenty of booze instead.”

——

The team had gathered a large table towards the back of the bar. Finn found them seats next to Poe Dameron, and as Rey sat down she noticed that Ben had ended up across from her and a few seats down.

She shoved any disappointment she felt as far down as humanly possible.

The table was laughing uproariously, and as Rey was drawn into conversation with Finn, Poe, and a few of the other guys, she realized that she couldn’t remember the last time she had felt this light and bubbly.

Her life was not one that was filled with open joy. Yes, she loved baseball, but she’d spent so much time working and training that she hadn’t had many opportunities to have fun like this. 

“So, Rey,” one of the guys, Snap, drawled, his third empty glass dangling from his fingers, It was clearly not his first drink. “Have you ever, like, hooked up with a teammate or something?”

The entire table let out a chorus of _ooh_ ’s, before falling silent, waiting to hear her response.

Rey tilted her head to the side, very deliberately. She knew she had to play this right, so that there was never any doubt in their minds again. She was one of the guys, and she was not to be messed with.

“Well,” she began, very carefully, “sometimes, when I’m… on the field… and I’m watching other players on my team...”

She paused. She could practically hear everyone holding their breath.

“I kind of get… like… hot?” Rey leaned a bit further forward on the table. “And, I don’t know, that feeling makes me…”

They were eating out of her hand. She could feel the smug grin threatening to break out onto her face.

Her eyes flicked briefly to Ben Solo, who was staring down at the table and not at her. His large hand was curled tightly around his beer bottle.

“No, I don’t fucking date other players,” she finally snapped, leaning back in her seat and draining the rest of her beer. “End of discussion.”

The table exploded with noise, but to Rey’s relief most of it was laughter. Snap threw her a sort of embarrassed, _guess-I-had-that-coming_ shrug and Rey returned the gesture with a smug nod.

“Very well,” Poe said cheerfully. “Now we know, boys, she’s off the table.”

“But doesn’t that just make it more appealing?”

The team continued to argue and laugh. Satisfied, Rey stood and headed to the bar to grab another drink for herself.

While she couldn’t be completely certain, she felt as though someone was watching her intently as she walked away.


End file.
